Epic Moustache Prank (It's a must watch)

What's that you say. Moustache... Prank... but also epic??!?

It was also a user-submission! So thanks very much, my anonymous fan!

Vincent Van Gogh: Moustache Visionary

How could I run a blog about having epic moustaches without having Van Gogh somewhere. Everyone knows that the lead paint he used drove him to insanity, but it's a lesser known fact that his moustache helped keep him sane. Keep all this misinformation in mind, next time you see a painting by Van Gogh.

Swiss Moustache

 

The moustache is very wide, but I think he trimmed too much under his nose, and it's a bit patchy in the middle. The excessive use of moustache wax helps rectify this problem, but overall, an exceptional moustache. The hat and swiss suspenders really help the image. Good stuff! 9/10

Hindi Moustache

He looks pretty happy and I don't blame him. It could use some tidying up, but overall, very quality! 8.5 out of 10 on the moustache scale.

I may not be an expert on this, but I'm pretty sure it's shopped

The earrings are a nice touch. It definitely gives a Mexican vibe. Note the feint traces of a beard

Impress your friends with a Moustache Cake

It gases longingly into your eyes

It's actually a cake of Tom Selleck. The little pink flowers add to the fantasy, while the chesthair made of sprinkles is a nice touch!

My friend pointed out to me a few posts ago that behind him is a zen garden.  Lol. gangster. I also cleaned up my blog a bit, to make it load faster, decreasing overall suckiness by 20%. woot!

Three moustaches to start off your day

 I feel bad for the cat. someone must have put moustache wax in it's fur hahaha.

baww kitty

This forehead moustache is a crime in itself.

no. just no.

While this is more beard than moustache, he gets major points in my books.

 Rainbow stache gets points in my book

Pai Mei: King of Earth

(This article was too good to not repost. I'll start making original content soon :P

 For millennia, undignified men across the globe have yearned for the ability to grow badass amounts of facial hair, then shape it to show off their wisdom and power within. While many may try, only a choice few have ever been able to achieve the careful balance of patience, bravery, and inner-awesomeness to actually grow the hair of their dreams.

Pai Mei is one of these men.

His raw amount of eyebrow hair combined with the reconstruction of the classic Fu Manchu turns his boring, spherical monkey-like face into a thing of ancient power and virtue.

Submit any pictures of men who has achieved this godlike status to epicmoustacheblog@gmail.com
 

Could have been worse. 7/10

/facepalm

Repost: 6 Steps to Growing the Moustache of your Dreams

This post was so good, I had to repost it for new viewers: read away!

Einsteins knowing look says it all

Growing a moustache is no easy task. It takes perseverance, patience, and backbone. Show your friends (and especially your enemies) that you're better than them. Here's some easy steps to help start you on your journey.

Maybe next year

Step 1. Figure out your age.


Can you even grow a 'stache? Is it even a possibility for you? If your mom still folds your underpants, you probably can't. If girls still have cooties, you shouldn't be growing one in the first place.

Adopted? Well ask your fake parents to estimate. You should be at least (AT LEAST) 18 years old. Anything younger than that and it's just going to look patchy and gross.

This isn't a girl. Just a heads up.

Step 2: Figure out your gender

 If you're a male, continue to Step 3. This step should be pretty easy for most of us. If you can't get past this step, I suggest asking 5 strangers on the street to see which gender you most look like. Hopefully, most should know. Don't accept candy or enter any vans. Just walk away. Walk. Away.

Step 3: Which Moustache is Right for You?


Choosing the right 'stache is very important. You cannot start off wanting to grow a Box Car then switch to Trucker.  That's unthinkable! You will have disastrous results. Just don't. Figure out which moustache you want to grow and stick to it.

If you can't make up your mind, go for business man or undercover brother. Both are respectable. 



Step 4: Wait


Like all fine things in life, moustaches take patience and time, like a fine wine, or aged cheddar cheese.

That's the Spirit!

Here's some suggestions:

• -Chop wood
• -Buy a watch
• -Eat bacon
• -Find a wife (this becomes easier with a moustache though)
• -Fight in a war
• -Drive a truck
• -Sleep (keep one eye open at all times)
• -Buy scissors and a razor

 

Step 5: Taming the Beast


So the hair has started to grow, has it? good stuff. It's better to start taming the 'stache at the start rather than letting your face turn into a jungle then hacking through it with a machete (although the second option gets you man points).

Use scissors to trim the long bits, and a razor to cut the short bits. Don't use shaving cream. It only reduces irritation, and if you can't man through skin irritation; growing a moustache isn't for you. If you screw up this stage, cut it all off and go back to step 4.

Step 6: Welcome to Moustache Paradise

When your moustache reaches completion, you will start to notice slight changes. Arms and legs feel stronger, women seem suddenly attracted to your dangerous side, food tastes better than it ever had. Colours even start to look brighter. You've done it. You've done it brother. You've made us proud! You've made all of us proud!

Over 100 subscribers?! Over 5000 views?! OVER 9000 POWERLEVEL?!

But seriously folks. If I say so myself; not so shabby! . Notice how the clip even features a moustache. that's how real %$#* gets sometimes. Just ask R Kelly.

But in all honesty, I'm posting some celebratory moustaches for your eyes only. The results of the polls are in, and people seem to be favouring pictures of epic moustaches over articles and videos. So more pictures will be posted with captions. Thanks again for voting + following me :) <3<3

;-) Ron gets 7.5/10

you get 6/10 lenin

0/10. Put your collar down!

Tom Selleck gets 9/10 for the manliness that escapes from it

-40 / 10 for Rebecca Black. God... never again. never make another song again.

Ali G: Bad moustache, but so funny (a little NSFW)

His moustache is only a 3/10 (but he's really funny)

The mouse in the microwave part had me cracking up so hard. I might go out and buy the DVDs of the Ali G show sometime. Pure gold

Alex Trebek: a fallen soul, a turn for the worse

Bad Alex. Very bad Alex! 0/10

Alex Trebek used to be much more handsome than he currently is. Without the moustache, nobody except old people watch Jeoparty. This makes me sad. Grow it back Alex!

you cannot resist my stare 9/10

A little St. Patties Day Moustache

Flann O' Chester McFinnigan here, wishing you all a happy St Patties!

Try staring at this guys moustache for 10 seconds without smirking. It's impossible!

RIP NATE DOGG :C

He had a stroke a few years ago... And he had a gangster moustache too. RIP

His silky smooth voice will always be remembered :C

The Indian Moustache: A Journey through Music!

After watching this multiple times and asking a friend who speaks Hindi (or something like tha), the video is about the 4 elements coming together, then debating about a woman (so he says), then coming together as a whole at the end.

Try follow his top notch dance moves. It's impossible! Why is he always pointing at stuff?

So what does his moustache get on the Moustache Man Moustacho-Scale?
.
.
.

8.5/10. My biggest criticism is that it's not thick enough. But it really shows tells me where he's from!

A realistic depiction of Mario (kinda NSFW)

Here's a little sketch I remember seeing a long time ago. Now that I've found it again on youtube, it's gotten like 36 million more views than I remember it having! Crazy.

Not unlike a fine wine, this video gets better with time. The first time I saw it, I only found it a little bit funny, but now that I've watched it again, it's definitely better than I remember.


I've been pretty busy with schooling to write articles and find pictures, so for the time being it's going to be just videos and very mild commentary.


Oh and just in case you were thinking of sleeping tonight, here's realistic Mario.

I wait in your closet until your eyes close.

Moustache'y Old Spice Commercial

Some might call these ads mildly sexist, but I feel they put men in a negative light sometimes more than women. Either way, I really like this ad campaign for how ridiculous they are. 

If I had to rate this guy, 9.5/10, just because he took off the moustache halfway through the sketch. tsk tsk!

Carleton Banks and Pepsi Cola

Carlton always get 10/10. No exceptions!

The face of Carlton Banks is that of timeless unpopularity, but did you know that Alfonzo Ribeira was also a backup dancer in Michael Jackson's 'Pepsi Generation' video?

That's right: he helped sell Pepsi. Not so unpopular now, is he?!?


Check the video below! For those who don't know, it's a 'remix' of Billy Jean.

My Rating of a few Trucker Moustaches

Earls got the dirtiness: He needs to trim his top lip though, it's falling into his mouth almost. 7/10

Why are Hulk Hogans eyes so red? His Moustache is pure class, and defined himself as a Wrestling Superstar (whatever that is). 10/10

Not Bad. The Bleach Blond hair doesn't work well with the stache. Not bad though. 6/10

On the left. 10/10. On the right 4/10. Sorry bro, you just don't measure up!

Poll Results are in:

Two weeks ago I asked the public :"Does this blog make you more inclined to grow a moustache?" What surprised me was that a lot more people voted than I originally thought! (over 40 people!)


The results were:

I already have a moustache: 37%
Yes: 28%
No: 26%


Analysis:

It's interesting that more people have moustaches than people who want moustaches. More people want moustaches than people who don't want moustaches. So according to my research (and brain), in the future there will be more moustaches than there are now!!

Even Glenn Beck couldn't explain my moustache logic more clearly

Unfortunately, if 37% of my viewers have moustaches, I have a feeling my blog is much more popular with men than women. Ideally I'd like balance!

If you have any suggestions for blog improvement, leave me a comment :) I'll be doing a post on truck drivers with moustaches soon.

Don't even think twice: Just watch it!

I'm just sad that his kids don't get into it. This guy is awesome! In all his stache'y goodness. He's definitely got the tiger blood

Cops with Moustaches

Either a cop or a male escort 7/10

Serious business. 9.8/10

this guy needs a bigger stache, he just looks like a security officer. fail! 2/10

Don't watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop. 7/10

these guys are awesome. 10/10

Moustaches just have a mysterious way of showing authority!

Shameless Self-Promotion: part 2

So I made a downtempo/ambienty type mix. It's really good and I think if you're reading this, there's a good chance you'll like it.

Enjoy!

Click here to listen!

Oh, and if you like it, 'like' my facebook page and I'll post more music in the future. Thanks!


My facebook page!

Are LEGO designers racist?!

I'm not sure if anyone else but me realized this (I'm pretty sure nobody but me has, actually), but LEGO designers must have some beef against people with moustaches. Every time a character made with LEGOs is fashioned with a moustache, they have an evil, disgruntled expression on their face.

This LEGO worker is obviously disgruntled with his current construction job. Communist!

But why does LEGO do this? I think it's to subliminally teach children aged 4-10 not to trust people with moustaches, when there's no real evidence out there (other than what movies teach us) that people with moustaches are more evil than people without them. While I might sound like a rambling Glenn Beck right now, let me show you more examples of LEGOs general hatred towards moustaches.

This is the head of LEGOs 'Santa Claus' head. tsk tsk.

This guy is obviously modelled after that dude from Indiana Jones (but that guy didn't have a 'stache.)

Just look at his evil eyebrows!

To LEGOs credit,  I did find a LEGO man with a happy expression on his face, but really he just looks like a stereotypical archaeologist guy. But don't let his smile deceive you, his eyebrows are still mildly arched evilly.

Adventure time eminent.

On another note, my followers have officially surpassed my number of posts! Sweet. Thanks guys!

-The Moustache Man

Machete: One Angry Mexic....zzzzzZZzzZzzz...

That's not a knife! This is a knife

Sure, Machete came out in 2010. Maybe I'm the last guy in the world to see it, but I think it deserves a review anyways.  Like all of Robert Rodriguez's films, this film was really over the top: full of cliches, bad puns, a main character who is unstoppable and determined, bent on revenge.

I've seen Machete twice in my life, and both times, guess what: I fell asleep. That's right, I made it to the 55 minute mark both times and then fell asleep. I don't know why.... I usually don't fall asleep during movies. I think Machete had Stephen Segal in it, from what I remember... Violence.... Cool parts... Wont ruin anything...


.....

Yeah, that's right, I just reviewed a film made a year ago and didn't watch all of it. Smooth moves on my part.

With all that in mind, I rate this film a solid 8.5/10. Sin City was better (9/10) , since I watched all of it. Plus Sin City had Bruce Willis (who is awesome in every way).

I also recommend checking out Sin City. It has this guy in it. A man so strong he breaks out of jail with his bare hands. BARE HANDS

If you've seen this movie, you know this guy is serious business

With that in mind, I wish you all good day!

-Moustache Man