Barrett: Final Fantasy VII's manliest character

come at me bro
Barrett (or in Japan, racistly named Co-Co) was the strongest, angriest and blackest man in Final Fantasy 7. When his hand got shot off trying to save his homeboy, he said '%@# that, I'm going to replace my arm with a gun. 99% of humans who get their arm shot off don't decide to turn where their hand used to be with a gun.

How does his gun arm even work? How do you fire a gun without a hand? This is where the moustache comes in. His moustache (which shares a mental link with his brain) fires the gun when he decides the time is right. His beard deflects bullets, which explains why he can take so much damage.

Some might argue with me and say that Sephiroth was manlier. Lies. Lies and slander! He burned down a village, but he wore a leather overcoat or something, and mumbles to himself.

Plus if you levelled Barrett enough, he could kill Sephiroth. So screw that pansy, Barrett all the way.

You gotta understand somethin' [...] I gotta fight. 'Cause if I don't...the planet's gonna die. So I'm gonna keep fightin'!
—Barret, explaining why he's so manly and his shoe size is probably like 37
I don't care it's a final fantasy game, VII was awesome back in the day!

Question for my readers: Who are your favourite video game characters? leave a comment :)

17 comments:

  1. Well, as long as he's got facial hair, I suppose he's appropriate

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  2. hey, hey. I chose barrett because he's a boss. I mean, it's boss first, moustache second. you gotta be a boss first!

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  3. I was always under the impression that his mustache was doing the killing, and his gun was a simple distraction.

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  4. hahaha that was pure gold siphil. pure gold!

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  5. viewtiful joe is my favorite :D

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  6. That guy's moustache is hardcore.

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  7. it was awesome to see him on Final Fantasy 7 (the movie)

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  8. FF7 was such an epic game. I'd still play it today

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  9. yeah I really like his appereance

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  10. Favorite video game characters....hmm that's a tough one. I'd probably pick a character from Zelda, let's go with Tinkle :)

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  11. Well, not very suprisingg but nice
    http://baxxmans.blogspot.com/

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  12. One could argue that Final Fantasy VII is STILL awesome, and Barrett's badassedness lives on in the annals of Time.

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  13. I've always found Auron from FFX to be full of manliness, I mean have you SEEN his overdrive Shooting Star?
    He fucking EJECTS the fiends from battle.

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  14. haha rinns i just checked that out, i don't remember being able to use that overdrive with auron (at least when i played ff10) but it's pretty awesome

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  15. The part where the japanese named the big rapist blackguy "Coco" made me LOL

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