Barrett: Final Fantasy VII's manliest character

come at me bro
Barrett (or in Japan, racistly named Co-Co) was the strongest, angriest and blackest man in Final Fantasy 7. When his hand got shot off trying to save his homeboy, he said '%@# that, I'm going to replace my arm with a gun. 99% of humans who get their arm shot off don't decide to turn where their hand used to be with a gun.

How does his gun arm even work? How do you fire a gun without a hand? This is where the moustache comes in. His moustache (which shares a mental link with his brain) fires the gun when he decides the time is right. His beard deflects bullets, which explains why he can take so much damage.

Some might argue with me and say that Sephiroth was manlier. Lies. Lies and slander! He burned down a village, but he wore a leather overcoat or something, and mumbles to himself.

Plus if you levelled Barrett enough, he could kill Sephiroth. So screw that pansy, Barrett all the way.

You gotta understand somethin' [...] I gotta fight. 'Cause if I don't...the planet's gonna die. So I'm gonna keep fightin'!
—Barret, explaining why he's so manly and his shoe size is probably like 37
I don't care it's a final fantasy game, VII was awesome back in the day!

Question for my readers: Who are your favourite video game characters? leave a comment :)
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17 comments:

  1. Eric PMarch 2, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Well, as long as he's got facial hair, I suppose he's appropriate

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  2. DrivebotMarch 2, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    hey, hey. I chose barrett because he's a boss. I mean, it's boss first, moustache second. you gotta be a boss first!

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  3. SiphilMarch 2, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    I was always under the impression that his mustache was doing the killing, and his gun was a simple distraction.

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  4. DrivebotMarch 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    hahaha that was pure gold siphil. pure gold!

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  5. synoptixsMarch 2, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    viewtiful joe is my favorite :D

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  6. AnonymousMarch 2, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    That guy is hardcore.

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  7. BillNighyMarch 2, 2011 at 7:49 PM

    That guy's moustache is hardcore.

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  8. AnonymousMarch 2, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    it was awesome to see him on Final Fantasy 7 (the movie)

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  9. Electric AddictMarch 2, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    FF7 was such an epic game. I'd still play it today

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  10. UnknownMarch 3, 2011 at 12:57 AM

    one of my favorite ff chars

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  11. Civic SomaMarch 3, 2011 at 3:06 AM

    yeah I really like his appereance

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  12. AlexanderMarch 3, 2011 at 5:17 AM

    Favorite video game characters....hmm that's a tough one. I'd probably pick a character from Zelda, let's go with Tinkle :)

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  13. baxxmanMarch 3, 2011 at 5:54 AM

    Well, not very suprisingg but nice
    http://baxxmans.blogspot.com/

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  14. ChristopheMarch 3, 2011 at 7:05 AM

    One could argue that Final Fantasy VII is STILL awesome, and Barrett's badassedness lives on in the annals of Time.

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  15. rinnsMarch 3, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    I've always found Auron from FFX to be full of manliness, I mean have you SEEN his overdrive Shooting Star?
    He fucking EJECTS the fiends from battle.

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  16. DrivebotMarch 3, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    haha rinns i just checked that out, i don't remember being able to use that overdrive with auron (at least when i played ff10) but it's pretty awesome

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  17. GenericMarch 4, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    The part where the japanese named the big rapist blackguy "Coco" made me LOL

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